Yeah, I think you’re right in general. Ultimately, forgiveness is a matter of attention management.

But for some, “Just decide not to have this person in your life” is pretty challenging. Especially if you’ve spent decades—beginning in early childhood—cultivating thought patterns and mental habits centered on thinking about that person. Undoing those mental habits is tricky, in part because they may be positively reinforcing in the short term (anger is a positive emotion, after all :)