#3. Update your expectations — We all wish we had a little more inner peace in our lives. After all, it’s hard enough to cope with the stress of workplace politics or family drama when your mind is clear and still. But when you’re trying to do it with a mind that’s buzzing with worries…

#1: Acceptance — For most of us, the idea of resilience conjures up stories of profound heroism in the face of grave injustice — Viktor Frankl surviving the concentration camps or Rosa Parks sitting wherever she damn well pleased. But resilience isn’t always epic. Sometimes it’s quite ordinary: Taking criticism well from our…

#1: Fear of fear itself — Why is it so hard to stick with our best intentions and follow through on our goals? Whether it’s dropping 15 pounds, starting a new business, or finally fulfilling your dream to write a novel, our most important aspirations seem to quickly get derailed and go unrealized. But why? It’s…

#1: You define yourself by your past — Many people struggle with low self-esteem — a persistent belief that they’re not good enough, worthy enough, or not lovable. And while most of us assume low self-esteem is a fixed personality trait — something you’re stuck with for life — nothing could be further from the truth: When you…

#5: Make time to worry on purpose — Here’s a truth about anxiety that’s hard to accept: There’s no magic coping skill or secret mantra that will eliminate anxiety. That’s because some degree of anxiety is an inevitable and normal part of life. And in fact, the belief that you should be able to totally control or eliminate…

#1: Name it to tame it — Most people react to painful emotions in one of two ways: Escape. We try to avoid or outrun our difficult feelings by distracting ourselves — often with something like social media or food. At the extreme end of this strategy, some people are so hell-bent on avoiding difficult feelings that…

#2: Worrying about the future — We all have certain areas of our lives where we’d like to feel more confident: Maybe you wish you were confident enough to speak up more often at work and express yourself. Maybe you want to be more confident in dating and romance. Or maybe you wish you had enough…

#2: Reassurance Seeking — As a psychologist, I’ve seen first-hand how most people struggle with their emotions much more than they need to… They get overwhelmed in spirals of worry and anxiety They lash out in fits of anger or defensiveness They procrastinate on their goals because of apathy, guilt, or fear But difficult…

#2: Need for control — If you struggle with anxiety, you’ve probably heard the usual old advice: You just need to relax and loosen up a little. Stop worrying and try to appreciate all the good things in your life. Try to live more in the moment. And while well-intentioned, advice like this is awfully…