A lot of people think that feeling emotionally balanced is a matter of luck…
And while emotional balance does have something to do with your genetics and temperament, there’s a much deeper truth here…
Being emotionally balanced doesn’t mean you don’t have painful emotions — it means you have a healthy relationship with them.
Burnout is brutal.
I could go on and on with the symptoms of burnout, but if you’re reading this, you probably know them all too well.
Instead, I want to give some practical and creative advice for learning to deal with burnout at work more effectively. And the gist of it is this:
The best way to manage burnout is to get better at avoiding it in the first place.
Self-criticism is something we all fall into from time to time. But for others it’s practically a way of life.
For the chronically self-critical, even the tiniest mistakes trigger tidal waves of negative self-talk and self-directed judgmentalness:
Thankfully, no matter how self-critical you are it’s…
Chances are you grew up hearing about the virtues of hard work — how it’s important to “always try your best” no matter what. Or how “hard work always pays off” in the end.
While commonplace and often well-intentioned, the belief in the absolute sacredness of hard work is misguided at best — and very often dangerous—for a very simple reason:
Hard work is only valuable if it’s directed at valuable things.
Think about it:
We all want to be happy, right?
We’re constantly looking for the next big idea, the next big promotion, or the next new person in our life who is going to make us happier.
But for thousands of years, wisdom traditions across the world have been telling us that happiness comes from within ourselves, not outside. In other words…
Happiness comes from how we think about the world, not the world itself.
As a psychologist, I see evidence of this every day in my work with clients. …
Everybody thinks communication is the key to healthy relationships. But I’m not so sure…
Obviously, communication is important in any relationship. But here’s the thing many people don’t realize:
Poor communication is often a result of relationship problems, but rarely the cause.
Over the years working as a psychologist and seeing just about every shape and size of relationships problem, there’s something much more fundamental that causes relationships to fall apart: Unhealthy boundaries
Unhealthy boundaries mean there’s an imbalance in the mixture of intimacy and independence in a given relationship.
Most people use one of two strategies to cope with painful emotions:
Everybody wants to know what they can do to be happier…
And while all these things have their place, no doubt, what if this quest for more to make us happy is the wrong direction?
What if happiness is about what you should do less of, not more of?
The longer I work as a psychologist, the more I realize the key to finding happiness is often less, not more. …
Do you often feel inadequate, like you’re not good enough or unworthy?
Whatever inadequacy looks like for you, it’s a painful thing to live with.
But here’s what most people don’t realize about inadequacy:
Whatever caused your inadequacy initially, it’s usually your habits that are maintaining it.
Anything from early life trauma to unhelpful comparisons can cause you to feel inadequate…
A common misconception about confidence is that it’s this general personality trait that makes someone bold and unafraid in any situation.
Confidence is actually very situation-specific.
Someone who is socially confident might look bold and fearless at a cocktail party schmoozing with new people; but put them in front of an Excel spreadsheet and they turn into an insecure bundle of nerves and second-guessing. Confidence, in other words, can take many different forms.
One of the most important forms of confidence that people rarely talk about is emotional confidence, the ability to acknowledge and accept your emotions without…