#2. Validate the emotions behind your personalizing

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If you struggle with taking things personally, you’re not alone. In my work as a psychologist, this was one of the most common struggles people of all backgrounds and personalities had.

Luckily, this is definitely something anyone can overcome with the right approach.

Anyone can learn to stop taking things…

You are not responsible for other people’s feelings

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You’ve probably heard of FOMO, fear of missing out, but what about FODO, fear of disappointing others?

While it has less name recognition than its more popular sibling, fear of disappointing others is every bit as important to come to terms with because of its subtle but significant long-term consequences…

To be free from anxiety you must be willing to have it

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I always got funny looks from my therapy clients when I told them that they should stop trying so hard to be less anxious.

A mental health professional who specialized in treating anxiety disorders was telling his clients that being less anxious wasn’t really something they ought to strive for?

2. Resist unnecessary mental time travel

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Here’s how I think about mental strength:

Mental strength is the ability to control your mind instead of being controlled by it.

For example:

  • Instead of getting sucked into spirals of self-criticism and shame, mental strength is what allows you to redirect your attention and thinking somewhere else less destructive…

2. Be realistic with your expectations

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Beyond a minimum of material wealth and personal safety, happiness is largely a matter of mindset.

And while many a self-help guru has tried to package this idea as simple and easy, it’s anything but:

  • It takes patience and perseverance.
  • It takes flexibility and open-mindedness.
  • It takes humility and self-awareness

Nick Wignall

Psychologist and blogger. I help people use psychology for meaningful personal growth: https://nickwignall.com

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