3 days agoMember-only4 Habits of Emotionally Intelligent People#3: Be curious about bad moods, not judgmental — Most people aren’t very good at managing difficult emotions because they don’t know much about their emotions and how they work… They procrastinate constantly because they don’t realize they’re really avoiding their own anxiety, not their work. They argue incessantly with their spouse because they don’t realize being critical is…Psychology9 min readPsychology9 min read
4 days agoMember-only7 Psychological Reasons You Don’t Trust Yourself#6: Reassurance-seeking — Not being able to trust yourself comes in all shapes and sizes from chronic self-doubt and imposter syndrome to indecisiveness and low self-esteem. And while all of them are painful in the moment, the real tragedy of all self-doubt is that it leads you to miss out on life: How…Psychology9 min readPsychology9 min read
5 days agoMember-only5 Signs of Low Emotional Maturity#2: Emotional gaslighting — As a psychologist, one of the biggest sources of chronic unhappiness I see in people’s lives is being married to someone with low emotional maturity. I hear stories like this all the time: At the slightest hint of criticism, he just clams up or gets defensive — he literally never…Psychology9 min readPsychology9 min read
Jan 22Member-only4 Habits of Insecure People2. Reassurance-seeking — Most people think of emotional insecurity as a personality trait — something you’re born with that dooms you to a life of chronic anxiety and low self-esteem. And while it can certainly feel that way to people who have been insecure most of their lives, the real reason we feel…Psychology5 min readPsychology5 min read
Jan 21Member-onlyNeed to Set Better Boundaries? These 5 Rules Will HelpBetter boundaries = happier relationships — So much suffering in life comes down to unhealthy boundaries: The decades of resentment and lost intimacy accumulated because you’ve “tolerated” your spouse’s bad habits The stress and burnout at work because you habitually “compromise” with your manager about workloads The chronic worry and anxiety that comes from “just going…Psychology6 min readPsychology6 min read
Jan 17Member-only3 Signs of an Emotionally Secure Relationship#1: Emotional vulnerability — Are you in an emotionally secure relationship? Do you feel safe to talk openly and honestly to your partner about embarrassing or difficult topics? Do they feel that way about you? Are you loved by your partner? And not just intellectually… Do you feelloved by them most of the time? …Psychology5 min readPsychology5 min read
Jan 15Member-only5 Small Phrases that Will Lower Your Anxiety#1: “I am not my thoughts.” — Anxiety is like a snowball that quickly becomes an avalanche: If you don’t deal with it when it’s small, it will consume you. This means the key to managing anxiety is to deal with it as soon as it pops into mind and is still manageable — before it spirals…Psychology7 min readPsychology7 min read
Jan 14Member-onlyAre You Emotionally Courageous? These 7 Habits Will Let You Know#3: Embracing uncertainty — Dealing with painful emotions is hard. Obviously. As a result, a lot of people fall into the habit of avoiding those emotions rather than confronting them directly: Using alcohol or social media to distract themselves Depending on reassurance from others Projecting or blaming other people Even flat out denial But…Psychology8 min readPsychology8 min read
Jan 8Member-only4 Habits That Will Make You More Disciplined (and Creative)#2: You have a warm-up ritual, right? — A lot of people think of creativity and discipline as opposites. But nothing could further from the truth… Creative discipline is the difference between wishing you were creative and actually creating stuff. Many of the most creative people the world has ever known were surprisingly disciplined in their approach to…Psychology9 min readPsychology9 min read
Jan 7Member-only4 Psychological Reasons Why You Have Low Self-Worth#3: You’re afraid to be assertive — Low self-worth is one of the most common but under-discussed issues people face today. Unfortunately, many of the tips and tricks you hear about for improving your self-worth either aren’t really helpful or even make things worse. For example, simply rehearsing unrealistically positive statements about yourself or the future —…Psychology6 min readPsychology6 min read
