#5: Getting lost in your own stories — If you struggle with taking things personally, you’ve probably heard the standard advice: Just don’t let him get to you so much! Stop being so hard on yourself. I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it. Or my personal favorite… You just need to learn to let things go. And…

#1. Let go of things you can’t control — Everybody experiences painful emotions: From grief and panic to anger and disappointment, emotional suffering is universal and unavoidable. But how people respond to emotional suffering varies dramatically. For some, emotional pain leads to a storm of negative thoughts, self-defeating behavior, and even more painful emotions. But others seem to bounce…

#2: Practice gentle self-talk — As a psychologist, I spend a lot of time talking to people who struggle with low self-esteem. They say things like: I’m very successful, but it never feels like enough. I know this is bad to say, but I just never feel worthy. But whatever the original cause of your…

#1: Relying on other people for comfort — If you’ve ever felt like your emotions were “too intense” or “out of control” you’re not alone. Many people experience emotional intensity that seems excessive or disproportionate. But the reason emotions feel out of control often has less to do with your emotions themselves and more to do with habits…

2. Make time to be sad on purpose — Everybody wants to be happier. The trouble is, it’s surprisingly hard to choose to do things that really make us happy… Will eating or abstaining from that second bowl of ice-cream make you happy? Will watching Netflix or going to the gym make you happy? Will buying that new iPhone…

#2: Trusting your thoughts — When you’re emotionally fragile it means you have a hard time managing difficult emotions: Little bits of worry throw you into cycles of anxiety and panic. Small bouts of sadness lead to spirals of self-criticism and depression. Tiny bits of irritation quickly blaze into hours or days of anger. But…

#3: Resisting change — We all experience painful emotions: From anxiety and grief to shame and resentment, emotional suffering is universal and unavoidable. And yet, how we respond to emotional suffering varies dramatically from person to person. For many people, emotional pain triggers a cascade of negative thoughts, self-defeating behavior, and increasingly painful emotions…

#5: Judgmental self-talk — Everybody wants to know what to do to be happier… More life-hacks More coping skills More frameworks More pills More coaches and therapists More wellness apps And while all these things have their place, no doubt, what if this quest for more to make us happy is the wrong direction? …

#3. Keep your expectations updated — We all wish we had a little more inner peace in our lives. After all, it’s hard enough to cope with the stress of workplace politics or family drama when your mind is clear and still. But when you’re trying to do it with a mind that’s buzzing with worries…