6 Psychological Reasons You Feel Too Emotional
Why am I so emotional? has to be one of the most frequently asked questions I hear as a psychologist.
But it’s a tricky question to answer, primarily for two reasons:
- Many different factors affect how we feel emotionally. Everything from your genetics and attachment style to what you ate for breakfast and how much sleep you got last night play some role in how you feel emotionally.
- There’s no clear standard for how much emotion is “normal.” For example: There’s no rule book that says feeling 6 out of 10 anger is normal, but 8 out of 10 anger is abnormal. Or that feeling angry for a few minutes is normal but feeling it for a few hours is abnormal.
Still, many people do experience higher and more prolonged levels of painful emotion than they need to. And while this excessive emotionality is sometimes due to factors outside their control, frequently that’s not the case.
Often it’s subtle psychological factors that are the real cause of feeling too emotional.
This is good news because, in general, a lot of your psychology is under your control — unlike your genes or what your parents did to you as a child.
What follows is a collection of subtle but powerful psychological causes of excessive emotionality. If you can learn to identify these in your own life, there’s a good chance you can use that knowledge to regulate your emotions more effectively and feel a little more emotionally balanced as a result.
1. Chronic worry
When people say they feel so emotional, one of the most common forms is feeling too anxious.
But here’s the thing many people don’t understand about anxiety:
Anxiety doesn’t just happen. It’s created and maintained by the mental habit of worrying.
This distinction between the anxiety you feel and the worry that leads to it is crucial. Because if you want to feel less anxious, the only real solution is to learn to manage your worry habit better.