4 Secrets of Emotionally Stable People
#2: They’re willing to be vulnerable
--
What makes someone emotionally stable?
Of course, we all experience the occasional mood swing from time to time. But some people seem to respond to the ups and downs of bad moods and painful emotions with far more confidence and resilience.
Over the years working as a psychologist, I’ve noticed a handful of common traits among people who seem especially good at managing difficult moods and emotions. And while there are, of course, many reasons for emotional instability, anyone can become a little more emotionally stable by working to cultivate these four habits.
1. They’re skeptical of their emotions
One of the biggest reasons people get overwhelmed by their emotions is that they make too much of them.
For example:
- You’re getting ready to give a presentation to your team at work. Unexpectedly, you start feeling anxious and wonder to yourself: I’ve never felt anxious before one of these presentations before… Why am I anxious now? What’s wrong?
- Now, in addition to feeling anxious, you’re anxious about feeling anxious! This has the overall effect of making your total anxiety much higher than it would have been.
- As a result of this much greater anxiety, you start worrying about whether other people in the room can tell you are anxious… a third layer of anxiety!
- By now, you’re really stressing out and anxious. So much so that you’re sweating and can feel your heart beating. At this point, you start worrying about whether there’s something wrong with you physically. And sure enough, your anxiety gets even higher.
Talk about a vicious cycle! And all because of the initial assumption that there was something important about how you felt emotionally… which led to worry… which generated even more anxiety.
I mean, so you felt a little anxious before a meeting… So what?!
Anxiety doesn’t necessarily mean anything. But your assumption that it was important and meaningful led to worry, which led to much higher levels of anxiety.
